Some Days are Harder Than Others

Today is just one of those days.

I could blame a number of things I suppose.  I don't doubt that worry over Serenity's cleft palate surgery this month is at the top of this list of things to blame.  I would seriously consider selling one of my kidney's if it meant I could be with her during it all!  My agency doesn't allow you to travel before time to bring them home though (money or not) and I can hardly imagine what selling an organ does to your court appearance interview.

Judge: So I see you sold a kidney last year.  Could you tell me more about why you would do such a thing?  Me: Oh, um that?  Well you see...  Wayne: Wait, when did you sell a kidney?! 

Guess I'll have to hold on to both kidneys for now...

Not nearly as worrisome, but still bothersome, is that I'm also waiting on Asa's newest stats and pictures.  I know he was likely in the office for his monthly checkup last week and that it is (hopefully) only a matter of time before I get a new glimpse of my little boy.

When it comes down to it--REALLY--it's that I'm impatient.  I know the physicians taking care of Serenity will be just as good as they are here in the states.  That me being there wouldn't be a comfort to her at this point.  I know that Asa's pictures will make it to me eventually.  I also know that little bugger will likely avoid the camera again if he has a chance anyway.

But I'm already tired of waiting.  After only four months since our referral and really only two months since our official waiting started.

How in the world am I going to make it another year or more without holding those little hands and kissing those plump cheeks?

Most of my family and friends are well aware of the fact that I am not a very patient person.  Perhaps no one could be patient in this situation, knowing your children are halfway around the world.  But if I'm honest impatience is one of my larger flaws and one I truly hope I am going to conquer this year.

God is surely teaching me to wait and reminding me that this is only the beginning of my learning when two toddlers are on the other side of this waiting. I truly hope I can start to focus more on what I'm being taught about patience in this process so that I'm ready to apply what I've learned at the end of it all.

I'm sure Asa and Serenity will appreciate it if I do. :)