2014

Only a few hours before we ring in the new year.  To say that I'm (really we're) ready for 2014 is an understatement.  I hate to be the kind of person that wishes away their time, but if I could have fast-forwarded through most of 2013 I certainly would have.

I don't want to leave you all believing that there weren't good parts to 2013 because it's just not true.   There are memories and moments with friends and family that I wouldn't have wanted to miss.  Two of my very best friends had beautiful baby boys and another close friend has a little one on the way.  Wayne finished grad school after three years of spring, summer and fall semester classes.  I made so many new and dear friends in the adoption community and even met some of them in person.  Lots of good things that I wouldn't take back.

But Wayne puts it best when I ask for his end of year thoughts: "67% suck."

It feels like our hearts have huge chunks taken out of them since the day we read Asa and Serenity's files and saw their sweet faces.  Each month (usually) has brought new pictures and measurements and the knowledge that they are growing up apart from us.

In October we received Asa's 15 month pictures and I was so happy and so thankful to receive them.  Our little boy was finally sitting up on his own and looking so very healthy!  But then I looked again and called crying to my mom.  Where did his chubby baby cheeks go?  Where did that little baby boy go?  The baby I watched without much change in pictures for months was suddenly a toddler.

It's a sad but necessary evil.  Time must pass for us to bring our kiddos home.  We wish the time away, while still missing the time spent.  We hope for time to pass quickly, knowing it means our kids will change without us there to witness it.

2014.  We have waited anxiously for you.  Please, please be gentle with our impatient hearts.