Nothing New

The title pretty much says it all when it comes to our kids homecoming status.  I didn't (and don't) expect any new movement for us until May or June. Even though we had a bit of good news last week for those in front of us (mostly about four-five months ahead in the process), I was hoping for a little more movement. Sadly, I don't know if it was a sunny day that was to be followed by many more or not. Since February, this process has slowed down to a trickle.

To be honest, I'm slowly coming to grips with the fact that our kids might not be home in 2014.

Yes. It makes me sad too.  So so sad. Soooooooooooooooo so sad.

I hope I'm wrong.  I pray every day that what I think is a realistic timeline is just pessimism.  We're almost 16 months in from referral and it seems the wait has just become unbearable some days.  I'm watching my friends' kids grow up in real time while Asa and Serenity's changes show up in monthly pictures; videos every four-five months; and the occasional progress or medical report.  

And then I remember that there are two other mothers missing these same milestones--two brave souls that spent months being pregnant with babies they may have never gotten to hold. We'll grieve their second birthday, knowing that it will be a hard day for them too. 

So we will wait.  We will complain and cry and miss all those first kisses and hugs and words and steps, but we will always remember that this sadness isn't ours to bear alone. It is the temporary sacrifice and void that leads us to the joy and privilege of  a lifetime as a family.